I hate my 6th period class. There is just no getting around it. I've talked with Mr Schmidt about it, and he readily admits that it is his worst and hardest group of kids to work with.

I was nervous about Dr Velez coming to observe me, but all the same, I knew I just had to get through it and all I could do was my best, regardless, I couldn't sleep the night before because of it. That aside, it really threw me off when he said hello before the period started. I'm so used to a simple nod and a "hey, what's up," that the whole super formal hello with formal names and handshake totally threw me for a loop and really set my nerves on edge and adrenaline running. I felt so unprepared for what was ahead. I knew that no matter what I was about to do in the next 90 minutes would not be acceptable and I wouldn't measure up to anything. My confidence completely died at that moment. But I knew I had to pull it together in the next 28 seconds, otherwise nothing would happen and I really would be a failure.

It was super difficult because I had seen these kids, maybe three times. I knew a few names, but not many. I'd been so overwhelmed in the last few times I had seen this class that I hadn't know what to do. Plus, having next to no experience leading a class, I don't always know what to do or how to manage the students.

The weird thing was that I found myself having more confidence to lead the class that I had ever had before. Something I had not expected. Student teaching with other teachers, especially their current teachers, and past teachers who are now my college professor, is super intimidating. It's quite comparable to babysitting kids while their parents are still at home - still in the same room as you, watching your every move and criticizing your every word. I hate it. I'm so less confident when I'm being watched. I think it's because I'm always afraid I'm doing something wrong, even if I am experienced and confident in the subject. But I pushed through with the period and got through it. Heaven help me to never have another experience like that again.