State fair: need to write about, potentially, wouldn't hurt anyway

Yesterday:
teacher in-service meetings, presentation by someone, felt kinda inferior to the other 600 teachers from the Hood River County School District at the HRVHS today. toured around the school and generally followed Schmidt around like a shadow at all times. more long (around 3 hours) of presentation mixed with videos and powerpoint. long and boring. all the teachers left and right were falling asleep, especially after we got into the Bowe Theater because it was warm and the chairs were more comfy. i'm cold. i've been in stinking hot Iowa all summer and I'm definitely not re-adjusted to the oh-so common wind and drizzle of Hood River, Oregon. I'm also not adjusted back to the time change.

today: meeting in the library, found out that i get to do the chicken dance in front of all the freshmen next week. which is slightly nerve wracking. i hate being the "new person" but at the same time, with my past experience of making a complete and total fool of myself in front of 200 kids at a residential music camp for the last four summers, I think I can handle just a chicken dance with the rest of the new staff. working on my calendar for the aged website was a challenge. I had to do and redo it several times because I forgot that we're on a block schedule here, so yay extra work for me with that. but oh well, I'll manage to get through it some how. I've started eating away at the never ending material that is my BINDER OF DOOM. it's not all that bad, really, i'm just terrified of the year and kinda stressing over it, but I know that I can only get through it by faith, and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, so its just a matter of trusting Him that I can actually make it through the year and not feel like a total fool for having undertaken such an immense thing. all professional. all grown up. I'm only 22. I feel so unprepared for "real life" I suppose I'm also stressing about what I'm going to wear more than I should too. as I'm your quintessential osu student, my wardrobe includes jeans, converse, tshirts from school events, and sweats. that is basically all, save a few formals for special occasions. yup. that'd be it. leaving me in a bind for "professional attire" as per requirement for this year.... blah, and without finances being forthcoming, I'm schtuck. thankfully i have a bit left from the few hours I was able to put in at Subway out in Iowa this summer which afforded me some to get a few things, but I'm still concerned about things.

I'm also late. I hate being late. To anything, work and church especially. Just really gets to me. i don't want to be known as the girl who is always late to everything. I'm not always late. I was brought up right, I know how to be on time for things. I know what it takes. It really pushes me over the edge when people try to make sure I know what it takes to get places on time. Sometimes other things come up, or I have to be a million bazillion places all at the same time. And then everyone freaks out and stresses things more which only adds to my immense amount of stress from school, student teaching, life, family, finances... everything. I really hate it. I am not a tardy person. I have this retarded habit of liking to be 10 minutes early to every lecture. Perhaps this is because of in that one soul-sucking class of mine back in Sophomore year that if we weren't 15 minutes early? we were late. and therefore absent, which counted as our course grade. I have slightly slipped out of this habit, but I have full faith that I can pull through with it again. Especially when my parents are back at home and I have to fight for the kitchen and bathroom every morning with my family before I head of to school for the day.

Can't afford my rent as soon as term starts. No idea what I'm going to do about this. Really stressing about it. It's totally no bueno.