Wednesday. It's a B day again. But I was determined to keep going.

It's funny, I grew up knowing that talking back was never good. In any circumstances, no matter what. Why is it then, that this is the only way you can get through to high school boys? It goes against every single thread of who I am to talk to someone that way. But at the same time. It works like magic. I've pretty much always been a super polite person. Never wanting to get on the wrong side of someone and such. But with high school boys, it's like you have to give awkward silences, stare them down, call them out, be a bit sassy and ask them if your instruction is interrupting their conversation. It's weird. It's like speaking a foreign language to me. Not that being in charge of a group of students is hard for me, it's not that at all. I can do that. It's the part where I have to manage the whole class and work with the students who are alright with being there and want to know how to do things and what is up for that day and with the students who couldn't give a crap about anything, much less spending 90 minutes listening to me drone about safety tests - again.

I guess I've been too scared to really pull any cards like calling kids out and doing more than just shushing everyone or waiting for them to actually shut up, or telling them to be quiet. But I made myself go for it. I totally called out some boys in my 6th period class while talking about safety and proper use of the cylinders in the welding shop. I stopped, waited, then called them out by name and asked if I was interrupting their conversation. And it worked. It took them completely by surprise. I hadn't expected it to. But all the same, I am kinda the equivalent to a substitute teacher here, and they will try every little thing to get on my nerves and weave their way around my instructions and plan of action at every turn. But on the same note, I know I can't pull things like that all the time, or else it will become old hat to them and will have no meaning. The other thing is that a lot of people think I might be easy to mold into shape, or work around, or someone who wouldn't hold their ground. But it's not true. I have no problem in standing my ground.

All the same though, part of me wishes I could do something a bit more extreme with my life, at least for awhile so that people (especially students and the teachers I'm working with currently) will really understand that I'm not someone that you can walk over. I am and look young, I go to Church, I don't have a boyfriend, I'm not married, I'm still in school, and I am a dancer. People like giving me endless crap for all of that. But I'm made of more than that. I may be female, but I am, in no way, weak.